Tuesday, May 27, 2014

always on your side

I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize for that but I have an explanation. Here it is: I have wanted to write this post for a pretty long time but seeing as I have been dancing competitively for six years, there is a lot of content I could write about. In essence,the story of my first four years of company is just a sob story about being bullied, feeling left out and sucking at dance. And as much as I'm sure you'd all LOVE to hear me whine about my middle school dance drama, I'm choosing rather to write about the past two years, which have been very good to me. 

It's sort of the norm at my dance studio to quit company after 8th grade and do drill team. I don't know what drove me to, but like the little girl in those taco commercials, I thought, "Why don't we (I) do both?". The three other high school girls and I trying out for company thought that we'd get our own group made since we were older. That didn't happen and a couple of them quit for that reason. But once again, I don't know what drove me to, but I decided to stay. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made. At first I wasn't too thrilled about dancing with girls a year or two younger than me but I quickly realized what a great opportunity it gave me to step up as a leader. I've never been one to sit back in the crowd but in previous years I was either the youngest in the group or too insecure to step up and lead. 
Our team bonded quickly. Even though everyone but Daniella and me had all been together before, I felt like I fit in almost instantly, which was something new to me regarding dance company. Right off the bat we were faced with challenges as one of our teammates, Kara had back surgery to correct her scoliosis. I consider Kara the glue that holds us together. She's close friends with everybody on the team and the way she fights to overcome obstacles inspires all of us to be a better version of ourselves. Knowing that she'd be there for us in a similar situation, we all constantly had Kara on our minds. Her last class before surgery was emotional for all of us. We were excited with her and nervous with her and as much as we all tried to stay positive, there was an elephant in the room. The odds of her dancing again ranged from her being back in a month to her never dancing again, and we all were thinking of the worst case scenario. Good news: Kara was back to dance within two & a half months and is doing better than ever, the full story is one for another day but the point is that she is amazing and helped our team bond. That year we danced to a song by Sutton Foster called Always and to be honest we always made fun of it, (mainly because her voice is so high) but now as I go back and listen to it I can't help but shed a tear because it describes us so well. 
I had intended for last year to be my final year in company because Varsity drill team is supposedly a bigger time commitment (it's not that much). I have never felt like I fit in with the dancer girls in my grade so the idea of being separated from my Ultima team was scary. I decided to stay in company another year. Although there have been many scheduling conflicts, it has been totally worth it. Despite the absence of one member (Kassidy, you were greatly missed) it was the exact same team, so we were already ahead because we know each other so well. 
This year was just more. More fun. More challenging. More drama (unfortunately). I got to know everybody better and through my friendships, discovered who I am, or at least who I want to be. Last year I made friends, but this year I made best friends. A lot of people dread going to dance and on a side note, if you are one of those people you need to reconsider what you're doing, BUT I'm the opposite, I look forward to rehearsal with these girls and even if it's a class we don't necessarily like, we find a way to make it bearable together. 
The two things I love most about these girls are 1. They're hilarious, but also sincere and 2. They follow through. Number two is a big reason why I think we've become like such a family to each other - we can trust each other, we know that when we make a promise, we'll keep it. Of course we're far from perfect - we get annoyed with each other and sometimes we take jokes too far, but at the end of the day none of that matters. Olivia and I often refer to this year's Ultima as "The team that actually did stuff" because when we have an idea, we stick with it and that has really made this year worth while. The list of "stuff we did" is pretty long but the thing I'm most proud of happened just a couple of days ago. 
We made a video for Miss Melva (which you can watch here) and had planned on having a dance section in it. When I was teaching the other girls the choreography, we got the crazy idea to finish choreographing to the rest of the song and ask our company director if we could perform it in showcase. Like I said, we follow through, and only two rehearsals later we were onstage dedicating our dance to Miss Rachel and performing our own choreography. That dance means so much to us. We all connect to the song, "Home" by Gabrielle Aplin, in that, we're going in different directions next year but we'll always call MSSOD our home and we'll always be there for each other no matter what. 

Here's our dance...

So if you're in Ultima and you're reading this: I love you. Don't be afraid of ghosts when you're asleep in your #bedsheets tonight, it's probably just Pasqual (what a boy). Remember to keep the bags off the table on Thursdays because if you don't, hand on my knife, I promise I will slit your throat. If you ever find a panda bear or proof that mermaids are real, let me know - just please don't eat my snacks. I am literally at the hop right now and I can see your future, it involves many artsy dance photoshoots, which are swag. If you ever need me you will find me in the parking lot, eating pizza hut
Until the Abby's go marching in (HUAH), 
Meredith 


I've been incredibly blessed to be a part of this group for the past two years and I honestly don't know how I'll deal with not seeing them everyday next year. However, all good things must come to an end and I feel in my heart that its time for the chapter of my life to close, though I will definitely go back and reread it time and time again. 

And on my heart, I promise I will see you through

When pain arrives, I'll be right there to hold on to
With laughter and with prayer, I promise I'll be there
Always by your side


Always by Sutton Foster




I'll always keep you with me
You'll be always on my mind
But there's a shining in the shadows 
I'll never know unless I try 
Home by Gabrielle Aplin 


In His Name, 
Meredith 


questions, comments or prayer requests? Feel free to email me: meredithmunro@icloud.com 



**PRAYER REQUESTS** 
Victims of gender, race and class violence
Students taking final exams in the next few weeks

Friday, May 2, 2014

hanging up my hat

Hellllloooo ok for those of you who don't know, I decided not to do drill team again. Why, you ask, well keep reading this post.... 


My decision to quit Lariettes had nothing to do with the fact that a group of girls made me feel left out. It had nothing to do with the early morning practices and freezing walks from the parking lot. It had nothing to do with hot and sweaty band practices. It had nothing to do with seniority or ugly costumes. It just isn't the kind of dance I want to be doing. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make because there are a lot of things I love about Lariettes. I love the fringe. I love football games. I love having the locker room as a safe place. I love my directors and I love my team mates. But for the dancer I want to be, drill team is just not the right place to learn and grow. I want to be an artist, and on drill team everybody is told to be exactly alike. I definitely grew tremendously as a dancer on JV, and was pushed to work my tail off to prove myself. But now it’s time to hang up my hat and move on. I went back and forth between quitting and trying out for officer about five times spanning from November to February before I finally made up my mind. It's just that when I see dances at competitions and conventions I always say, "Wow I wish I could dance like that." and I realize that where I am now won't get me there. I finally accepted that I can't just keep the things I love about Lariettes, it's all or nothing. And I'm going to have to take nothing if I plan on being the dancer I want to be. I would give anything to put on the fringe and shake it with the drum line one last time. But in our lives we have to make sacrifices and we can only have faith that we are making the right decision. 


I am one of the few dancers that doesn't consider dance to be a sport. To me it is so much more than scoring points. Dance is art and dancers are not only athletes, but artists. Sure, you can channel emotions into a game of soccer or basketball, but dance is different. Each piece, each step, has a meaning. Dances tell stories, or at least they should. Dance is personal and it is emotionally taxing. Through this year I’ve realized how wrong it is to compare one piece to another. 
The first time I thought about quitting Lariettes and pursuing dance more seriously was actually before I even tried out. It was at Showbiz competition and two of the best studios in the metroplex (Next Step & Prodigy) were competing there. I felt something real when I watched them dance, and I knew that the dancers also felt something and were pouring their heart into the dance. I wanted to be able to dance like that. I seriously considered moving to Next Step even though it is half an hour away. However I decided to try Lariettes because that's where my all my friends were. 
All throughout football season I worked my "derrière" (French for butt) off. Besides being without a bus buddy, football season was incredibly fun. Some of my best memories definitely took place during that time. Then in November I attended Dance Revolution (the dance convention, not the video game). It is an amazing organization that I hope to become more involved in in years to come. The dancing I did that weekend was so different from the drill team field dances I’d been doing for the past couple of months and it felt amazing. I realized that I could be dancing like that every day and decided to start asking God if Lariettes was really the place for me. My parents were supportive of me not coming back to Lariettes as a junior but at the time we didn’t know what else there was for me to do. You can’t just walk into a new studio and join their company right away and since I was already committed to Lariettes and my studio company there was not time to go try out different places so eventually I shifted back to being content with drill team.
When we started our money themed production in Lariettes, I knew again that I wanted to quit. Being part of a group that glorifies worldly things like that was and still is unnerving to me. I remember being super angry after learning that choreography and being given a fluff part. I drove myself to the grocery store and bought three boxes of toaster strudels because that’s what I do when I’m ticked off. I declared once again to my parents that I was quitting, once and for all. Then a week later I melted back into Lariettes and this time was fully committed to becoming an officer so I didn't have to do fluff.
The week of my first blog post back was when I made the final decision to quit. Although it wasn't really me, but God. I was in the studio working on my solo and I just could not seem to do anything right. I couldn't spot my turns. I couldn't balance in a double pirouette. My turnout was non-existent. It was basically God saying, “Look, you developed these bad habits on drill team and it isn't where I want you to be. I have bigger plans for you.” I prayed and prayed, talked about quitting with my parents, changed the concept of my solo and two days later when I worked on it in the studio again I was on fire. The moves were flowing naturally through me and I felt His presence in the room with me. I knew that it was His way of letting me know I was making the right decision.
The day after my last drill team competition I went to my dance teacher’s wedding. She was part of Dance Revolution’s professional company, “Ingredients” and the company danced in her wedding. Watching them dance, I realized what was missing in my dance – purpose. They were dancing for the Lord and you could see it in their bodies and faces. I’d been doing high kicks and aimless reaches for months, never knowing what I was missing. It was then that I knew once and for all that God was pushing me in the right direction.
Our Creator created this beautiful thing we call dance. He gave us music, He gave us agile bodies and amazing choreographers. I want to use my dance to glorify Him and Him alone.
So that my friends, is why I quit drill team. I will definitely still be an active supporter of the organization, but I’ll be cheering the Lariettes on from the student section next year. I had two goals going in to Lariettes. 1) Be in the front line for a field kick dance & 2) Make all of the contest dances. I accomplished both of those goals so I'm not too disappointed with my time on drill team. I made lots of great friends and great memories in my year on Lariettes and plan on doing a highlight post later, but as we approach banquet - my last hoorah with the team, this has all been on my mind so I felt like sharing. I am excited about what my future as a dancer holds and I don't want to spill just yet, but I trust that it's where the Lord wants me to be. I'm preparing for the long road ahead and praying for the strength to fight any battle that arises during this journey. 


In His Name, 
Meredith 



questions, comments or prayer requests? Feel free to email me: meredithmunro@icloud.com 





**PRAYER REQUESTS** 
The 8th & 9th grade confirmants at St. Ann, especially the beautiful young woman I am sponsoring, Kassidy. 



This is one of my favorite Ingredients dances. It's cool too because I can connect with crying out to the Lord and hearing His voice guide you.