hanging up my hat

Hellllloooo ok for those of you who don't know, I decided not to do drill team again. Why, you ask, well keep reading this post.... 

My decision to quit Lariettes had nothing to do with the fact that a group of girls made me feel left out. It had nothing to do with the early morning practices and freezing walks from the parking lot. It had nothing to do with hot and sweaty band practices. It had nothing to do with seniority or ugly costumes. It just isn't the kind of dance I want to be doing. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make because there are a lot of things I love about Lariettes. I love the fringe. I love football games. I love having the locker room as a safe place. I love my directors and I love my team mates. But for the dancer I want to be, drill team is just not the right place to learn and grow. I want to be an artist, and on drill team everybody is told to be exactly alike. I definitely grew tremendously as a dancer on JV, and was pushed to work my tail off to prove myself. But now it’s time to hang up my hat and move on. I went back and forth between quitting and trying out for officer about five times spanning from November to February before I finally made up my mind. It's just that when I see dances at competitions and conventions I always say, "Wow I wish I could dance like that." and I realize that where I am now won't get me there. I finally accepted that I can't just keep the things I love about Lariettes, it's all or nothing. And I'm going to have to take nothing if I plan on being the dancer I want to be. I would give anything to put on the fringe and shake it with the drum line one last time. But in our lives we have to make sacrifices and we can only have faith that we are making the right decision. 

I am one of the few dancers that doesn't consider dance to be a sport. To me it is so much more than scoring points. Dance is art and dancers are not only athletes, but artists. Sure, you can channel emotions into a game of soccer or basketball, but dance is different. Each piece, each step, has a meaning. Dances tell stories, or at least they should. Dance is personal and it is emotionally taxing. Through this year I’ve realized how wrong it is to compare one piece to another. 

The first time I thought about quitting Lariettes and pursuing dance more seriously was actually before I even tried out. It was at Showbiz competition and two of the best studios in the metroplex (Next Step & Prodigy) were competing there. I felt something real when I watched them dance, and I knew that the dancers also felt something and were pouring their heart into the dance. I wanted to be able to dance like that. I seriously considered moving to Next Step even though it is half an hour away. However I decided to try Lariettes because that's where my all my friends were. 

All throughout football season I worked my "derrière" (French for butt) off. Besides being without a bus buddy, football season was incredibly fun. Some of my best memories definitely took place during that time. Then in November I attended Dance Revolution (the dance convention, not the video game). It is an amazing organization that I hope to become more involved in in years to come. The dancing I did that weekend was so different from the drill team field dances I’d been doing for the past couple of months and it felt amazing. I realized that I could be dancing like that every day and decided to start asking God if Lariettes was really the place for me. My parents were supportive of me not coming back to Lariettes as a junior but at the time we didn’t know what else there was for me to do. You can’t just walk into a new studio and join their company right away and since I was already committed to Lariettes and my studio company there was not time to go try out different places so eventually I shifted back to being content with drill team.

When we started our money themed production in Lariettes, I knew again that I wanted to quit. Being part of a group that glorifies worldly things like that was and still is unnerving to me. I remember being super angry after learning that choreography and being given a fluff part. I drove myself to the grocery store and bought three boxes of toaster strudels because that’s what I do when I’m ticked off. I declared once again to my parents that I was quitting, once and for all. Then a week later I melted back into Lariettes and this time was fully committed to becoming an officer so I didn't have to do fluff.

The week of my first blog post back was when I made the final decision to quit. Although it wasn't really me, but God. I was in the studio working on my solo and I just could not seem to do anything right. I couldn't spot my turns. I couldn't balance in a double pirouette. My turnout was non-existent. It was basically God saying, “Look, you developed these bad habits on drill team and it isn't where I want you to be. I have bigger plans for you.” I prayed and prayed, talked about quitting with my parents, changed the concept of my solo and two days later when I worked on it in the studio again I was on fire. The moves were flowing naturally through me and I felt His presence in the room with me. I knew that it was His way of letting me know I was making the right decision.

The day after my last drill team competition I went to my dance teacher’s wedding. She was part of Dance Revolution’s professional company, “Ingredients” and the company danced in her wedding. Watching them dance, I realized what was missing in my dance – purpose. They were dancing for the Lord and you could see it in their bodies and faces. I’d been doing high kicks and aimless reaches for months, never knowing what I was missing. It was then that I knew once and for all that God was pushing me in the right direction.

Our Creator created this beautiful thing we call dance. He gave us music, He gave us agile bodies and amazing choreographers. I want to use my dance to glorify Him and Him alone.

So that my friends, is why I quit drill team. I will definitely still be an active supporter of the organization, but I’ll be cheering the Lariettes on from the student section next year. I had two goals going in to Lariettes. 1) Be in the front line for a field kick dance & 2) Make all of the contest dances. I accomplished both of those goals so I'm not too disappointed with my time on drill team. I made lots of great friends and great memories in my year on Lariettes and plan on doing a highlight post later, but as we approach banquet - my last hoorah with the team, this has all been on my mind so I felt like sharing. I am excited about what my future as a dancer holds and I don't want to spill just yet, but I trust that it's where the Lord wants me to be. I'm preparing for the long road ahead and praying for the strength to fight any battle that arises during this journey. 

In His Name, 

Meredith 

questions, comments or prayer requests? Feel free to email me: meredithmunro@icloud.com 

**PRAYER REQUESTS** 

The 8th & 9th grade confirmants at St. Ann, especially the beautiful young woman I am sponsoring, Kassidy. 

This is one of my favorite Ingredients dances. It's cool too because I can connect with crying out to the Lord and hearing His voice guide you.